How to Define Your Version of Success

How we define success can either positively or negatively impact our happiness, depending on the source of influence. So often in life, we get distracted by other people’s/society’s version of success. Feelings of inadequacy and failure are common when success is influenced by subconscious programming from external sources. These subconscious ideas of success from media, our friends or our own family are seeded so deep we swear it was our own idea. If you’ve ever felt a small level of growing dissatisfaction in your life, consider this:

The success you’re chasing might not actually be your own.

The key to reprogramming your definition of success is to shift the source of influence from external to internal. There are two steps to define your OWN version of success that will lead to more fulfillment in your life. Ask yourself the questions below:

Removing what is not your version of success

1. What is motivating me to reach success currently? – Take a hard look at what is driving you. Is it influenced by external pressures to keep up with the Joneses, or seeking approval from family/friends? Is it ego? Is it money?
2. Is my current definition of success the same as people around me? – Success is a very personal goal, and if it’s pretty much the same as those around you, perhaps you’re getting swept up in their version of success and not yours.
3. If nobody was watching/validating my success, would I still be doing what I’m doing now? – A lot of what we do is a direct reaction to how we want others to perceive us. Do you strive for success for yourself or to gain recognition/money/power? If the answer to this question is “no, I would not still be doing what I’m doing now”, go back to question #1 above.

By becoming more aware of external influences that shape your current success trajectory, you can start to remove those that don’t serve your life goals. Shed the noise that’s distracting you from achieving your success.

Identify what success actually means to you

1. Who do I aspire to be like? – Think about the people you admire, what qualities do they have? Are people you aspire to be like successful in particular ways that may not necessarily match with what you see in the media as “successful”?
2. What values and principles matter to me? – Is it quality time with family? Finding a work/life balance? Working in an authentic way that brings you joy? Making an impact on society?
3. If you could start over, what does true happiness look like in your life?  – After clearing what isn’t your version of success, visualize what happiness looks and feels like to you. How do you feel when you think about achieving happiness? What are the things you’re doing? Who is in your life? How are you impacting others? Find the link between your passions, your core values, and how you impact the people you care about in your life = success.

Defining your own version of success gives you a new north star to guide you on your path. You’re no longer distracted or caught up by what other people are doing. Success is not a comparison game, and it’s something that is achieved internally.

If you spend your whole life trying to chase other people’s version of success, you’ll only end up dissatisfied or inadequate.I’ve felt this exact way,after all the promotions, the money, the title, and everything on paper…it was a lonely and hollow “success”. I hope that by sharing the lessons I’ve learned about chasing external versions of success will help you to redefine your own version to live a happy and fulfilling life.

Sending love and light,
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How to define success_from desk to deck

3 Steps to Find Your Passions

Let’s talk about how to find more passion in your life. After asking a few friends about their passions, many seemed to struggle with an answer. They shrugged it off with “I don’t have any passions” or “I haven’t found mine yet”. This was simply not true, as I knew for a fact they had many passions including surfing, design, travel, and music. So why did they think they lacked passion in their lives?

To many, “passion” is a loaded word…dripping with expectations of pure all-consuming excitement for something that also brings meaning and purpose to their lives. However, this view of “passion” isn’t completely accurate. Somewhere along the way, our society has concluded that passion = purpose. However, these are actually two different things.

Purpose is your reason for being; the thing that gets you up in the morning. It’s the driving force in your life that brings you ultimate fulfillment. Passion feeds into your purpose.

Passions are things or activities that get you excited or light a fire behind your eyes. You can be passionate about a number of things in your life that may not necessarily be your purpose. However, starting with passion will guide you to discover your purpose.

 

Finding passion in your life is very attainable. Perhaps you already have many passions and didn’t even realize it. Here’s an easy way to tell, fill in the blank:

I can do/talk about __________ for hours because I love it!

 

If you feel like you haven’t found what you’re passionate about yet, there is a method you could try to distill your passions from interests:

FINDING PASSION STEP 1: Starting With Interests

Make a list of all the things that you’ve ever been slightly curious about. Start to do some research to find out more and see what actually catches your attention. This stage is about gathering information to determine if there’s anything new you’d like to try or learn.

FINDING PASSION STEP 2: Trying Out Hobbies

From your initial interests, pick a few you’d like to pursue a deeper understanding through action. This stage is about trying out or learning a lot of different things to see what interests bring you enjoyment. You don’t have to be the best at it, but if you find that you want to continue to try/learn, it becomes a hobby.

FINDING PASSION STEP 3: Identify the Source of Excitement

Eventually, you’ll discover that some of your hobbies consume more of your time and excitement. Start to become aware of what conversations make you perk up, what activities leave you energized and excited, and what hobbies allow you to be more present and focused. Identify the source of your excitement, and continue to pursue your passions.

I hope this was helpful in finding more passion in your life! Please let me know below what you’re passionate about, or how you discovered your passions?

The 1 Thing to Make Your Year Great

https://youtu.be/Mtt7d5yGZmk

It’s the start of a fresh new year! I’m willing to bet that most of you have already made a list of new year’s resolutions, milestones, and other things you’d like to achieve this year (like you probably do EVERY year)…BUT, I want to simplify your life by asking you to do just 1 thing. This one thing will create a shift in your perspective that will guide the rest of the year to make it great.

Ready?

Write this down or repeat this to yourself:

I WILL CONSCIOUSLY & ACTIVELY CHOOSE MY LIFE

 

Yes it seems deceptively simple, but let me break down 3 reasons WHY this is effective:

1. It puts the responsibility on YOU

It’s a major mindset change for many because people like to blame external circumstances for reasons why they CAN’T do something. This shifts the responsibility to the “other”…when the entire time YOU have the responsibility to yourself. Even if you have goals set out for the year, you will tell yourself, “oh, well I couldn’t do this or that because I didn’t have the perfect situation or I didn’t have enough time…” ACTIVELY CHOOSE YOUR LIFE = to be active doesn’t mean you let things fall into your lap or let it happen to you…it’s going to take work. But you’re working and choosing for yourself and that’s important.

2. It gives YOU more control of your future

Let me ask you, how many times do you wake up and realize 3 months have passed and you’re not sure what you’ve been doing that whole time? That’s you on autopilot. No matter how great your intention for yourself this year, NOTHING will happen if you live in auto-pilot. CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE YOUR LIFE = to be conscious is to be aware of every choice you make, even if it seems small. Automatically doing things because you’ve always done it, or saying “yes” to things that you don’t want to be doing or focusing on people and situations that don’t nourish your vision…that’s not being conscious, that’s letting other people decide your future. That’s you not consciously deciding. This year it’s time to wake up and take control.

3. It will help you OWN your life.

It’s ok if you have moments where you feel like a failure – because trust me, you and everyone else will continuously fail – but having the thought that you’re choosing your life makes it possible for you to always course correct and find yourself back to center again. Nobody else is living this life, not your parents, not your friends, not your boyfriend or girlfriend. You are 100% going to choose your life – through the wins and the challenges – it will be authentic because it’s YOURS.
 

If you need a little reminder, I made some free phone backgrounds you can download below. Enjoy!

I wish you all a wonderful year ahead and sending everyone lots of light and love.


My Journey from Desk to Deck

I was pretty much as corporate as they come. I spent 10 years of my life working at global media agencies, advertising for major brands, managing multi-million dollar ad spends, and becoming the first head of marketing for a successful fitness start-up. Every summer in college, I interned for major ad agencies in Boston, and even competed against other schools in national advertising pitches (nerd alert!) You could say I was heavily committed to my marketing career. After graduating, I quickly found a job at a top media agency in NYC. Everything was going according to plan.

Continue reading “My Journey from Desk to Deck”